Funny Celebrity Quotes and Sayings

Funny Celebrity Quotes and Sayings

I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.
Britney Spears
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I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)
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I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
Helen Hayes (at 73)
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My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
Roseanne
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My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz
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I took my parents back to the airport today. They leave tomorrow.
Margaret Smith
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In the beginning there was nothing. God said, "Let there be light!" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Tim Allen
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I was a bank teller. That was a great job. I was bringing home $450,000 a week
Joel Lindley
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In a nutshell, just be good and kind to your children, because not only are they the future of the world, but they are the ones who can eventually sign you into the home.
Dennis Miller
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A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice.
Bill Cosby
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If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
Dick Cavett.
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I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Dave Edison.
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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
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I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house
Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Ya gots to work with what you gots to work with.
Stevie Wonder
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I'd love to be a pop idol. Of course, my groupies are now between 40 and 50.
Kevin Bacon
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My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing.
Jessica Alba
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It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth are rotting when I listen to the radio.
Bono (of U2)
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Everyone told me to pass on Speed because it was a 'bus movie.
Sandra Bullock
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I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.
Jim Carrey
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That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down.
Jim Carrey