Best Mark Twain Quotes and Quotations

Best Mark Twain Quotes and Quotations

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only one thing, is impossible for god: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When in doubt tell the truth.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself.
Mark Twain